I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
