Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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