This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
