But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
