i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
