just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
