yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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