Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
