He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
