the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
