I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize