first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
