I want you more than these girls want KFC
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize