Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
