Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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