Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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