I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
