she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
