I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
