I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
