We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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