I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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