is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
