I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I understand Curling. That high.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
