drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I FOUND THE LEGS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
