this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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