whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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