I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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