I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize