READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
