i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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