is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
