oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've blown a few things in my day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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