people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
