break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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