woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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