Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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