She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
