OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
