the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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