Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize