Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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