Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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