if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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