Cold hands, warm shart.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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