i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
