dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize