Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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