Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
