I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize