Swine flu. Run for my life!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize