oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't deserve a penis
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
