This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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