What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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