I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
