I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
