Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
