You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i love accidental penises.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We have started to decorate penises.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
