So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
