I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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