I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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