I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I won the penis lottery.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize