People with herpes should wear stickers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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