Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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