Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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