Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
