Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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