It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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