I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
