Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
