never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
