I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
