like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
