well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Buhtt sex?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize